I know I've been a bit quiet lately, not only on my own blog but on commenting, responding to comments and general email chitchat. I'm going through a quiet, reflective period in my life.
As many of you already know, my hubby is currently deployed to Iraq. I certainly am familiar with deployments and separations. We've been through multiple deployments and even when he's "home" he's never really "home" (fellow military wives know what I mean.) My husband has been gone almost 3 and a half of the last 5 years. Yes 5, that is not a typo. It can be tough, but you get used to it quickly.
We recently hit the 12 month mark time frame that he's been gone, this is the time when normally he would be home. For me, the 12 month mark was like running full speed into a brick-wall you never saw coming. It was painful, I never expected it to throw me off balance as it did. I've had other friends in the same situation who went through the same thing also say that the 12 month mark was hard for them. The good news however is that when he comes home this time, after out-processing and all that by the end of summer, he'll be home for good. That sounds so nice I'm going to say it again, for good.
I come from a long line of procrastinators which may seem funny when I say I'm not a patient person. When there is a decision to be made I like to review my options and make it quickly. When he returns it means he's going to get a regular job, that we'll most likely move again even though I just moved less than a year ago to NC, but this time it should be permanent. It means that we'll be settled down, that we'll be getting on with the rest of our life. And I'm anxious. I'm anxious to start making those decisions, to make plans and I'm having a very hard time standing still, being patient for that time to come.
Decluttering in it's own way has been cathartic for me, I've moved so many times that I know that I don't love much of this stuff enough to drag it around again. I'm working hard to simplify and refocus my life so I can enjoy the big things without sweating the small stuff.
I've also been reflecting on what is important to me in my own life and rethinking what I want to spend my time and energy on. Instead of doing things just because I've always done them I want to reassess -
- are they making me happy?
- do I enjoy doing them?
- if not - then why do them?
Obviously some things you "have" to do even if you don't enjoy them but I've found that you can keep those to a minimum. Even cleaning is simpler now with decluttering. There is quite simply, less things to keep clean, less things to put away and a place for everything. I recently finished up my closet and bathroom cabinets and it feels so good! I'd be happy to share tips if anyone is interested.
I'm trying to slow down, to find happiness in the little things - getting up early to sit outside and watch the sun come up with my dogs. Curled up in a chair reading a book. I'm even rethinking my knitting projects, trying to focus on those that bring me enjoyment. Anything I feel like I have to slog on is out the door and I'm having fun casting on, on a whim, just because. Try it, you'll enjoy it. =)
Anyhow - so you'll have to forgive my silence for a bit longer as I begin to refocus, to re-find my voice and discover anew who I am and who I want to be.
I finished Tiramisu - it was a lovely, easy crochet project that I would highly recommend for a beginning crocheter' (is that even a word? ;) It took me a long time to find the perfect, coordinating ribbon, in a lovely slate grey. I don't have a recipient in mind so for now it goes into my gift cabinet until the perfect opportunity comes along. Ravelry details here.
I also cast-on for a lovely little scarf. It's a kit and the yarn is hand-dyed by Kim (woolen rabbit) and the pattern is from Ann. I love, love, love this beautiful, cheery green colorway. And for knitted lace (patterning every row instead of a rest row) this is a fast knit. (Ravelry details here)
I must say I miss chatting with you all - I hope all is well with all of you! =) Happy Thursday!
