Keep on keepin' on

I know I've been a bit quiet lately, not only on my own blog but on commenting, responding to comments and general email chitchat.  I'm going through a quiet, reflective period in my life. 

As many of you already know, my hubby is currently deployed to Iraq.  I certainly am familiar with deployments and separations.  We've been through multiple deployments and even when he's "home" he's never really "home" (fellow military wives know what I mean.)  My husband has been gone almost 3 and a half of the last 5 years.  Yes 5, that is not a typo.  It can be tough, but you get used to it quickly.

We recently hit the 12 month mark time frame that he's been gone, this is the time when normally he would be home.  For me, the 12 month mark was like running full speed into a brick-wall you never saw coming.  It was painful, I never expected it to throw me off balance as it did.  I've had other friends in the same situation who went through the same thing also say that the 12 month mark was hard for them.  The good news however is that when he comes home this time, after out-processing and all that by the end of summer, he'll be home for good.  That sounds so nice I'm going to say it again, for good. 

I come from a long line of procrastinators which may seem funny when I say I'm not a patient person.  When there is a decision to be made I like to review my options and make it quickly.  When he returns it means he's going to get a regular job, that we'll most likely move again even though I just moved less than a year ago to NC, but this time it should be permanent.  It means that we'll be settled down, that we'll be getting on with the rest of our life.  And I'm anxious.  I'm anxious to start making those decisions, to make plans and I'm having a very hard time standing still, being patient for that time to come.

Decluttering in it's own way has been cathartic for me, I've moved so many times that I know that I don't love much of this stuff enough to drag it around again.  I'm working hard to simplify and refocus my life so I can enjoy the big things without sweating the small stuff.

I've also been reflecting on what is important to me in my own life and rethinking what I want to spend my time and energy on.  Instead of doing things just because I've always done them I want to reassess -

• are they making me happy?
• do I enjoy doing them?
• if not - then why do them?

Obviously some things you "have" to do even if you don't enjoy them but I've found that you can keep those to a minimum.  Even cleaning is simpler now with decluttering.  There is quite simply, less things to keep clean, less things to put away and a place for everything.  I recently finished up my closet and bathroom cabinets and it feels so good!  I'd be happy to share tips if anyone is interested.

I'm trying to slow down, to find happiness in the little things - getting up early to sit outside and watch the sun come up with my dogs.  Curled up in a chair reading a book.  I'm even rethinking my knitting projects, trying to focus on those that bring me enjoyment.  Anything I feel like I have to slog on is out the door and I'm having fun casting on, on a whim, just because.  Try it, you'll enjoy it. =)

Anyhow - so you'll have to forgive my silence for a bit longer as I begin to refocus, to re-find my voice and discover anew who I am and who I want to be. 

I finished Tiramisu - it was a lovely, easy crochet project that I would highly recommend for a beginning crocheter' (is that even a word? ;)  It took me a long time to find the perfect, coordinating ribbon, in a lovely slate grey.  I don't have a recipient in mind so for now it goes into my gift cabinet until the perfect opportunity comes along.  Ravelry details here.

I also cast-on for a lovely little scarf.  It's a kit and the yarn is hand-dyed by Kim (woolen rabbit) and the pattern is from Ann. I love, love, love this beautiful, cheery green colorway.  And for knitted lace (patterning every row instead of a rest row) this is a fast knit.  (Ravelry details here)

I must say I miss chatting with you all - I hope all is well with all of you! =)  Happy Thursday!

 

Comments

[Nancy]

Hmm deep thoughts today.

I'm so glad this phase of your marriage is almost at a close. I suspect you'll appreciate the next phase so much more for having been through it.

Decluttering is very freeing. I've only just begun myself and it is so much harder with kids but the little bit that I've done has made me feel a million times better.

[Carole]

I can understand your need for quiet and time for reflection right now.

[Katie]

Your post really touched my heart--thank you for sharing. I am not a military wife, and I can never know or pretend to know what it is like to be in your position. I do believe, however, that all too often many people take their blessings for granted. I am trying as well to focus on the important aspects of my life and what brings me joy. I would definitely be interested in reading about your process in decluttering. Your blanket is beautiful and I love the color combinations. Take care,
Katie

[Sarah HB]

Wondered where you had been.

No, I did not know you were military wife. I am looking forward (for you) to the day your hubby is home for good!!

Good luck with the next stage later this year.

Love the blanket.

[Qutecowgirl]

Deep Fiber Guru, Very Deep.

Maybe if more people look at life like that, maybe it would be a little more peaceful.

I really do not know what to say, but I, along with many others I am sure are here for you if we are ever needed. Seriously.

=)

[Chris]

I can't even begin to fathom what it must be like to have such seperations in your life. I'm so glad to hear they are coming to an end. Decluttering is so freeing - I need to do it again. And Anne's patterns - wonderful. You can't beat the Woolen Rabbits delicious yarns.

[caitlyn]

I've been wondering how you are doing, Keri. I can't even begin to imagine being separated 3.5 years out of 5! I am so excited for you that your husband will be home *for good* this summer.
I hope you will come out of this reflection period feeling refreshed and energized to do the things you love. {{{hugs}}}

[Valerie]

I'm so happy for you that your husband will be back home soon!
Your Tiramisu is very lovely, I really need to learn to crochet too : )

[Erica]

"For good". Ack, what I wouldn't give to have those words to use. We get two years of downtime and then it's back to a line unit. Unfortunately he's in it for the long haul. They trap ya, I tell ya! I'm happy for you!

Tiramisu is beautiful. The ribbon gives it just the right touch.

[Stacey]

Wow - thank you for your sacrifices as a military spouse! I am glad the end is in sight! Your projects are fabulous - that Tiramisu, what a luck baby of the future! And the Woolen Rabbit kit - beautiful as always!

[Angelika]

We are heading down the home stretch. The next move should be the last. One more duty station and then off to civilian life. Wow, scary in a way, if you are not used to it any other way.

[Karen]

I'm so glad for you that your husbands deployment is finally coming to an end. I can't imagine being separated that long from my husband. I too would like to read more about your decluttering.

Your newest scarf is very pretty, as is Tiramisu. I really love the colorway of the scarf.

[Liz K]

I just wanted to thank you for your personal and family sacrifice for our country. I so appreciate what you and your family have endured. Hang in there through the home stretch, and continued safety to your husband.

[Julia]

Thinking the same things over here...well, not about my husband, he's not in Iraq, but about life in general and the amount of time I spend on things. Knitting and crafting should never be a slog!! For people who use it as a hobby, release, creative endeavor, etc., anyway.
Sounds like you're on the right track! All the best to you till your hubby comes home.

[rohanknitter]

I love decluttering. If I had my way, half the stuff in this house would be gone. : ) I think it's great that you are evaluating and embracing what is meaningful to you. It's great that your husband will be home for good in a few months, I can't imagine what that's like. That crochet baby blankets is one of my favorites, maybe one of these days I will get around to learning some crochet. And thanks for linking to that scarf kit, I love it! (now to just decide which color to get)
Take care!

[gina]

Thank you to your husband and to you for your sacrifice. I need to follow your example and declutter around here! I am waiting for my Woolen Rabbit kit to arrive so I may start on my scarf too!

[tiennie]

Both projects are so lovely!

I think that's so exciting that he's finally going to be home FOR GOOD! I don't know how you do it. Matt and I have been together for 18+ years and have only been apart maybe a dozen random days. I can't imagine being away from him for so long!

[kimchi]

WOW. I have to say it again. WOW.
I do not know how you guys do it. That is just a testament to the strength in your relationship with your hubbo and also, what a strong person you are. That is simply amazing! I am so happy for you guys that the time has finally come that he will be home for good and that you'll get to Get On with your lives!
Congratulations and lots of hugs!!!
and lastly, that blanket is very cute! :o)
Have a great weekend! ek.

[Debby]

I can't pretend to know how hard the last 5 years have been for you both, but like the others I would just like to say thank you for the sacrifices you both have made four our country. I live near a military base of sorts (Coast Guard) and I know that some of the spouses are underwater in a sub for six months or more at a time...they must be given a special grace and strength by God to endure all, and you too.

I can appreciate your wanting to reflect and re-order your life; for different reasons I'm in that frame of mind myself lately. Too busy, spending too much time doing things I don't want to do, not enough time for what I love. I posted a little about this today, in an attempt to begin what you have already achieved. Thank you for sharing honestly and encouraging us all to examine what is most important to us, and make it a priority.

[nuttnbunny]

For good...

:-)

[Anne]

My 23rd anniversary is tomorrow. In the early years due to job dislocations, we spent most of a year apart with visits sprinkled in. Since then, maybe a week total. What a state you must be in. Dear, dear girl, wherever you end up, please stay in contact. I'd like to be part of your support system. Srsly. (hugs)

[Beth]

Thank you for the sacrifices that you and your husband have made for our country. You both have been through a lot!

Your projects are lovely!

[HomelyHeroine]

Thanks for your sweet comment over on my site. Your lace scarf is so pretty, I love the colour. We'll miss you! I hope your husband is safe at home soon x

[AJ]

I'm glad to hear that things will soon sort themselves out. I remember when you were moving the last time and I can't believe it's been this long.

Your Tiramisu is very pretty. I started one but unfortunately my crochet wasn't quite even on the sides. So it's sitting in the knitting basket, hoping one day to become something other than 1/4 finished wonky looking blanket. :)

[Emily]

Reassessment and decluttering are good for the soul. So are the colors in your tiramisu.